Odd Men Out - Time to say Goodbye?

Article by e-Spurs Writer Matt Tuminnia (USA)

As it is that time of the year where almost everyone who has ever played football is linked to Tottenham, instead of looking at some possible players coming in, let’s look at the players who are likely on the way out. Some of these names my surprise you, not because they are any good, but just because many of us have forgotten that they are still on our books. So let’s take a closer look at some men who appear to be on the way out of our club. And I think I was recently linked to Spurs after a pick-up match hat-trick.

Goalkeepers

Big Brad and Captain Lloris aren’t going anywhere but we cannot say the same about Mr. Gomes. Yes, the Gomes of a few years back who made some miraculous saves to propel us into the Champions League and into the final 8 of that tournament, he is still here. The same Gomes who made us look away every time a weak shot from distance was taken by the opposition as we all knew it would end up in the back of the net. Well, safe to say, he will be gone this coming season and I would not at all be surprised to see him return to Holland and maybe even PSV. No need to bring anyone in as we have 2 young keepers who are able to be that third choice guy in Archer and Vigourox so we should be all set in this position.

Defenders

Anyone who has watched Spurs this past season must have shouted the same thing at the TV at one point or another, “What the @%&* is Gallas doing on the pitch?”. I know I have shouted this at least 6 times, 3 in the Chelsea match, as I would rather see Chirpy wearing cement shoes playing in the back-line than that butthead as I’m sure Chirpy wouldn’t have a tendency to clear the ball right to a waiting opponent. Yes, he served his purpose but he is way past his expiration date. Peace out William and don’t come back.

Benny, god I love him. I can’t imagine him not being part of the squad but I really don’t know if he is destined to stay. As I have noted in a previous piece, AVB demands more from his players than the messiah ‘Arry “just f*ckin run around a bit” Redknapp did and as Benny’s appearances were few throughout the season, whether due to injury or out of form, it may be assumed that he is on the way out. Now this is where it gets strange as AVB stated recently that Benny IS part of his plans. Whether this is just BS or the truth remains to be seen.

In other player news, the other Kyle will probably remain and I can see Adam Smith being loaned out, or Naughton being sold and Smith being retained as cover for Walker. As the majority of these players may or may not be moved, at least it is with most certainty that Mr. Gallas will no longer be employed by us come next term. Which is good news.

Midfielders

Here we go, lots of midfielders yet only a few of real quality so instead of making long winded sentences about each, I’ll keep this brief.

Bentley-Go Fix your hair and get the hell out of North London sissy boy. If Levy could get 20 bucks for him it will be considered a victory.

Huddlestone-Sorry Tom, too slow for the system. You want first team football but are only good when you come on late in a match and given space and time. Off to Fulham or Stoke you go.

Parker-If you were younger, I would say loan you out or sell, but you are not so you will stay as Levy won’t be able to get much back for him. Plus he can do a simple job for us. And how about that hair, always stays and never looks disheveled. +2 points for that

Livermore-You would think he would have been given a few more chances late in the season to dispel Parker but I guess AVB doesn’t rate him that high so I can see him going to some mid-table team and doing a good job there. We still like you though, Jake. Maybe a loan to Norwich or Fulham.

Carroll-Definitely in AVB’s plans but I could see him going on a 6 month loan to one of the lower table teams to get some regular first-team football.

Duece-Not.Going.Anywhere…….Don’t tread on me and other American clichés. Yippy-kay-yay!

Siggy-See Duece but with Icelandic clichés.

Holtby-No way AVB is going to give the German terrier “das boot” 6 months after he got here.

The Welsh Jesus-LOL. I wonder if Madrid remembers the guy who sold ‘em Modric? What’s his name? Right, Levy. The same man who could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. Maybe if Perez and Co. ponies up 70-80 mil, but I seriously doubt that will happen.

I think that should cover our midfielders. Moose and The Beast were not mentioned as I do want either of those two angry at me as they could probably both beat the living crap out of my entire family. And I must say that I am really happy with all those clichés and movie references.

Forwards

 

Since both of our two recognised senior forwards are incapable of hitting water falling out of a boat, let’s just say that the one we can get the most money for will be shown the door. Neither of Defoe or Ade can do the job properly as both have glaring weaknesses in their overall game. We won’t get into their flaws as we are all well aware of them so let’s just say if we can get a hold of Soldado, PEA from St. Etienne, or Damiao, we will be in a lot better shape. One of those three will be able to be our primary striker while we could use Defoe or Ade as the secondary one. In an perfect world, I would like to see 2 of those 3 forwards I mentioned brought in but I don’t know if Levy will open up the checkbook that much.

Conclusions

That should be that. Most of this was pretty obvious but I must say, I do enjoy talking football while simultaneously making movie quotes and other pop-culture references. I hope by the end of this month we will have our striking situation taken care of so that he, or they, could be fully integrated into AVB’s complex system by the time the season starts. Thanks for reading everyone!

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