Spurs End of Term Report

Article by Michael Frankal

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The end of another term already at the Tottenham Hotspur combined Academy and Seniors, with Mr Pochettino completing his first term as Teacher.

Mr Pochettino, having achieved impressive results during a relatively short spell at the Southampton Academy and Seniors, was hired by the Governors after they had, at least, preliminary discussions with a couple of other candidates, including the highly-regarded, Dutch Headmaster, Louis Van Gaal. Mr. Sherwood, the Supply Teacher, who covered the Spring term, left after his one-term contract was not extended. He remains available for another teaching role and spends his spare time, along with our former Teaching Assistant, Mr. Ferdinand, appearing on ITV lauding one his student protégés, Andros Townsend.

Mr. Pochettino, a native Spanish speaker, teaches in English now, but it is hoped he will be able to get the best out of some of our Spanish speaking foreign exchange students, notably Roberto Soldado and Erik Lamela. However, what is clear is that Mr. Pochettino places real significance on Philosophy lessons, with all students undertaking double PE sessions with a view to dragging the School up to a higher league table finish come May. Another evident quality of Mr. Pochettino is that he takes real pride in integrating promising Academy students with the Seniors. An approach Mr. Levy finds particularly impressive, given Mr. Baldini‘s (Head of Foreign Exchange) expensive taste in continental students.

Paul Mitchell has also joined the Teaching Staff from Mr. Pochettino’s previous school, albeit late in the term. Mr. Mitchell is a bit of a whizz with modern technology and will aid Mr. P in various areas, it would seem. His recruitment to the School may see Mr. Baldini’s methods take a back seat and Mr. B may choose to move on in due course.

The School has had a largely indifferent first term, if exam results are to be looked at alone. The Students have struggled to pass relatively easy tests in the White Hart Lane exam hall, but have achieved better results on School Trips (Hull, Swansea and Villa Park were notable successes, although some would say the results owed more to luck than anything else).

Moving on to the Students themselves, some have performed better than others, but Mr. P’s Philosophy lessons and double PE sessions seem to have started to pay dividends, as impressive exams results, including the recent Newcastle test, seem to be more frequent. A few End of Term Reports, of various students, have been revealed below:

Hugo Lloris, very much a star pupil. He sits at the back of the classroom but is the safe pair of hands that Mr. Pochettino can rely on. The School will be concerned that he is outgrowing his surroundings and may seek a Summer Exchange to Spain. His distribution to other students could be better at times, but we’re being picky here as he is genuinely exceptional. Grade A+,

Eric Dier, a promising young student, who looked like he would fit in very quickly after his first couple of lessons. However, he has struggled since and chose to miss out on a National outing to take further lessons, which shows an impressive dedication to his own development. He needs to focus on his concentration which has led to a few silly mistakes in practical lessons. Grade C.

Younes Kaboul was chosen as Head Prefect at the beginning of the term and has been at the School a long time now. He put in a particularly impressive performance in the Arsenal test but since then his levels of effort haven’t been what you could expect from Head Prefect. The School remembers well Mr. Ramos’ short tenure as Head Teacher. Looking over previous reports, Younes was rumoured to have struggled with Mr. Ramos’ high intensity nutrition lessons and he was allegedly spotted bunking off and stuffing his face with a Big Mac. He has had too many recent absences and the School is concerned Younes is again struggling with Mr. Pochettino’s extra lessons and not taking his responsibilities as Head Prefect seriously enough. He may have fallen in with a bad crowd: the clique lead by, class-rebel, Emmanuel Adebayor. He must simply try harder. Grade D.

Ryan Mason is a student who was perhaps held back in the Academy too long. Mr. P thinks very highly of him though and he is now well established in the Seniors. He’s performing well and showing up some of the older students and those exchange students brought in by Mr. Baldini. He looks comfortable at Premier League level and we hope he’ll have a bright future within the School. Grade B.

Christian Eriksen is potentially another star student. He seems to perform better when sitting in the middle of the class but needs to realise that not all teachers will allow him to sit there. He needs to get more involved when on the side of the classroom, even though it is obvious his strengths are within a central position. When conditions suit him, he always comes up with the right answers and that cannot be overlooked. Arguably, Mr. Baldini’s finest exchange student, who we hope will stay at the School for the long term. Grade A.

On the other hand, Paulinho, has still really struggled to settle in at the School. He joined the School as a very talented Brazilian student but seems to have lost his confidence. We all thought perhaps he needed a rest after going to summer camp after his domestic school year finished, two years in a row. However, he just hasn’t reproduced anywhere near his best work at the School. It’s expected he’ll cut short his exchange and seek a new school soon. Grade E.

Roberto Soldado is very much liked by all at the School and always tries hard. However, his exam results have just not been good enough and he regularly answers simply questions with the wrong answer, despite showing impressive ‘workings out’ and build up to the answer. He is undoubtedly an excellent team player but needs to focus on getting his own answers right in test conditions. Cannot fault his effort and determination but he is still falling short of what is expected of him. He should be a B+ but, sadly, Grade C.

Emmanuel Adebayor was given extra responsibility by Mr. P at the beginning of the season. It was hoped that this would spark Ade into producing some of the form we know he is capable of when he applies himself. However, he seems to have shirked his responsibilities and would prefer to mess about than work hard. A student who always seems to have an excuse and is developing a reputation as the lead trouble maker (we all remember the incident with Mr. Villas-Boas and Ade’s Hat last year) but has had some recent family difficulties. He simply must put in a better performance or risk being expelled. Grade E.

Nacer Chadli is often quiet in lessons but pops up with an important answer every now and again, which is very much appreciated by all those at the School. A number of rumours have done the rounds in relation to Nacer’s extra-curricular activities at local (youth) clubs, perhaps this has had a negative impact on his school performance. Needs to take a prominent role in the new term, he has the ability to do well. Grade C+.

Andros Townsend is an energetic student who is well liked by those outside the School, including the National School Co-ordinator, Roy Hodgson. However, Andros has failed to replicate his form in our School. He has raw ability but the concern with Andros is that he doesn’t listen to instructions. He repeatedly tries to replicate the efforts of former star pupil Gareth Bale, but he should focus on being more collaborative during class. Combining his efforts with other students would benefit everyone and we hope Andros will take this on board in the next term. He is capable of being a much better student and he could easily jump a grade or two if he applies himself in the right way. Grade D+.

Harry Kane is performing exceptionally well in the easier tests and starting to show promise in the tougher ones too. He works very hard and it is clearly starting to pay off for him. All at the School are very impressed with him and he is very much at home amongst the older more experienced students. We hope he’ll continue his excellent form into the new term and throughout his time at the School. An excellent first proper term amongst the Seniors. Grade A-.

The school is fairly over-subscribed, with perhaps too many students who could do better elsewhere. We expect a few students to move on before the start of next term and it seems unlikely that any new students would join the school unless his happens first. Mr. P ‘s teaching methods are starting to bear fruit and he may wait until the end of the school year before looking to bring in talented students from other schools. We expect stronger second term results, although we are not disappointed with this first term given the upheaval at the School. A medal from an inter-school competition is not an unrealistic expectation.

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