9th February 2012: five years ago today my father passed away, he was the only reason I became a Spurs fan, in his honour I share with you an adapted version of the eulogy I read out at his funeral....
Life has a way of ensuring that by the time we grow old & grey, all of us will pick up many titles, normally associated within our family, friends and colleagues. As I write this piece I can quote a number of them that I have picked up during my own life. I am currently a husband, a father, an uncle, a cousin, a nephew, a friend, a Spurs fan and a whole host of other titles which I play out in the daily course of my life.
Last week I lost one of those titles, a title which cannot be replaced and one that every young man cherishes, until last week I was a fathers son.
My father held the title of father with great distinction and helped guide me to the inevitable titles I would take on in my own life. His main legacy to me was sport, a passion we shared from the time I could pick up a ball. He is the reason I support Spurs, the reason that Gloucester Rugby Club holds so many memories for me and the very reason that sport plays such a large part of my life.
My father excelled at all sports and as I grew older that passion he had for anything that involved a ball was passed down to me, practicing cricket in the backyard with a bat and ball, kicking the football over the park, rugby trips to Kingsholm, the home of Gloucester Rugby Club and even branching out to snooker when later life took hold.
All children take a certain element of their parent’s traits and interests, walk towards any football ground on a Saturday afternoon and you will see sons & daughters following in the footsteps of their parents, wearing replica shirts and forming a bond that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
My father’s legacy to me was Tottenham Hotspur, decided on a Sunday afternoon watching On The Ball when I asked him who we supported, he replied Spurs and a thread of my life was formed that will stay with me until my own day comes. If he had said any other team, my life could have taken a completely different direction.
I have my father and grandfather, as it was he who started this love affair with the Lilywhites, to thank for all my Spurs memories and although I could have cursed him many times in the last forty years, overall it’s a legacy that makes me feel proud.
Shankly once said that football was more important than life, only now can I appreciate the sentiment as every time I have watched Spurs since I lost my title, football reminds me of my father and the inevitable debate we would have had after every game. I'll miss his struggled pronunciation of Pavlyuchenko and his constant reference to that bloke with the big hair (Benny Assou-Ekotto) When I turn up at Everton next Saturday, I'll also have to for the first time keep my programme at home, a family tradition to send it to him to read will no longer be required.
Timing is everything in life and my father will never know if the current Spurs squad will one day match the achievements of the 1961 team, he had those memories and passed them on to me not knowing that for the rest of his days and for all of mine so far, Tottenham would never reach such heady heights. I promised him that if we do, I'll go tell him about it.
The last meaningful thing I did with my father was watch Tottenham on TV, apt as we spent all of my life doing just that. We won an FA cup game and we predicted a day out in May would be just what the doctor ordered...........
Losing my title as a fathers son will inevitably take a long time to adjust to, as it will for all the people who shared his life and now contemplate life without the title my father held for them, but if I can take any consolation from the passing of my father, this is it..............
I may have lost the title last week, but if our faith is strong and we believe our elders are watching over us, then my father has just regained the same title I lost and I hope he is sat next to my granddad discussing the current Spurs team and the chances of them one day lifting the title............. in the meantime I will continue to educate my son, the Tottenham Hotspur way.
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Just LOVELY, mate!
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